Mikey’s shirt pictures what i wanna do to their moose knuckles and Luke’s shirt is the most appropriate description to this picture.
moose knuckles
Tracks
do british people have a special £ key on their keyboards
how do you hashtag ??????
hashtag is over by the enter key don’t you worry your lil butt
wait
what… what do American keyboards look like then?
oh
(Source: xxthatgirljade)
My dog looks like a fuzzy penis. That is all, bye.
i sat here laughing for like ten minutes
I almost had a heart attack last night while my husband and I were lying in bed reading and his entire body starts shaking. I’m all ARE YOU OK ARE YOU HAVING A SEIZURE ARE YOU CRYING WHATS HAPPENING
and then i realize he’s just laughing hysterically- so hard that he CANT MAKE NOISE
And I go: Are you thinking about that damn penis dog again?
him: *silent nodding while he claps like a retarded seal*
(Source: pessi-misticc)
“harry styles kisses like a SNAIL”
(Source: zaynaliks)
dID YOU EVEN SEE THE SIZE OF THAT PENIS GOOD LORD THAT IS ONE MAJESTIC PENIS MADE IN HEAVENyOUR POST WILL BE WRITTEN ON MY GRAVE IM TELLING YOU
In health class today, we got a “what should you say back to somebody who tries pressures you into sex” worksheet. This is what I wrote. And below, what it says, in case you’re having trouble with the picture or reading my handwriting.
“Come on, just this once.” - I’d rather have pizza and watch a movie.
“What could it hurt?” - You, if you keep pestering me.
“Everybody’s doing it.” - Too bad I’m not everybody.
“If you loved me, you’d let me.” - If you loved me, you’d buy me Supernatural on Blu-Ray. Hand ‘em over.
“I promise we’ll use a condom every time.” - *stares blankly until partner gets uncomfortable and leaves*
“No one has to know.” - No one has to know if I murder you.
“What are you afraid of?” - Spiders, needles, wasps, clowns, heights, murderers…
“Don’t you love me enough to have sex with me?” - No.
“You’re just chicken.” - *starts twitching wildly, making chicken noises, and flaps arms like wings*
“Don’t you want to know what it’s like?” - Not with you.
“Everyone knows you’ve done it before.” - I’d think I’d remember something like that.
“Maybe you just don’t like boys.” - Yes, I’m a lesbian.
“Put out or get out.” - Okay, bye.
“I’m clean, I promise.” - Maybe you should take a bath, then, just to be sure.DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW FUCKING BRILLIANT THIS IS OH MY GOD
ALL THE YES.
